What is Wrong With People on the Internet? What are You People Searching For?!?! And Why Do These Searches Lead You to My Blog?

Okay, I've come across something that has distressed me greatly.  I know I would normally be posting some random crazy story about something stupid that has happened to me, and yes, those stories are coming.  But I needed to take a moment to share THIS with all of you:

Yes, that is what Blogger is telling me that people were searching for when they were led to my blog.  I logged in, saw it, started twitching, screen capped it, and decided to share it with you all. 
You see, if you're not familiar with Blogger and it's nifty features, it gives its users a statement when we log in that tells us our general audience's location (like what country our readers are from), page views, comments, and search keywords, along with many other stats such as the types of browsers that people use to view our blogs with (even with nifty graphs and pie charts!).  It almost makes us seem like creepy stalkers instead of simple bloggers.  But creepy stalker stats aside, I would like for you to please direct your attention to the items blocked off in red in the picture...Really look at them.  Absorb them for a moment. Soak in the absolute fucking insanity of what these people are searching for.
What. The. Fuck. 
I mean really, what does the internet think I'm writing about?  I don't think I've ever mentioned that I can kill someone with just two fingers!  But I bet I could if I tried. (I watched A LOT of "Xena: Warrior Princess" growing up.)  I've never written about a crying face with a fist.  I promise.  I'm like 99% certain.  The whole "that was the end" thing I can't vouch for.  I may have said that a few times.  I'm not even concerned with the term "hoggy" being linked to my blog because of my love of the awesome hedgehog and all of his "Hoggy Glory."  I used the term "hoggy" a bazillion times in an entire post about the magnificent hedgehog! 
But I'm still distressed by this you guys.  Especially the "I can kill you with 2 fingers" search.  I'm seriously concerned and confused.  What the fuck is wrong with the people on the internet?  Now, I have no objections to gaining new readers, but I just want to know why these terms are getting linked to my blog...it's just...creepy...and disturbing.  And I want to know who wants to kill someone with just two fingers.  Mainly so I can avoid them.  It's probably the same person that was looking up the "crying face with a fist."  *shudders*  That fucker is out to get someone...

So, in light of these recent distressing discoveries, here's my contribution to the internet search engines:

• Face punching lemon sniffers
• Retarded monkey ball scratching
• Big hairy masked yeti bandits
• Nacho titty leg hair
• Prison dancing orange strawberry shampoo
• Adorable labradoodles peeing on a goat
• Eggplant back hair
• Mandatory nacho eating contests
• Hobos fighting over Rico cheese
• I can kill you with NO fingers

Now let's all sit back and see what happens...heehee.