This is paper spam.
Now that I have your attention, go look at my blog so you can enjoy it.
(I don’t actually spam; I’m just a blogger that loves to do weird things. Like paper spamming. You tend to run out of ways to amuse yourself when you’re unemployed, so you have to start annoying the general population. Math is involved. Math can prove that I am statistically more annoying than a fly. Isn’t math fun?)
(I don’t actually spam; I’m just a blogger that loves to do weird things. Like paper spamming. You tend to run out of ways to amuse yourself when you’re unemployed, so you have to start annoying the general population. Math is involved. Math can prove that I am statistically more annoying than a fly. Isn’t math fun?)
You see, I’m trying to become internet famous. But I don’t have any people reading my blog. So, I’m spamming you via a piece of paper in a desperate bid for attention.
(I obviously didn’t receive enough attention as a child. Isn’t that sad? Is it sad enough to make you want to read my blog? Yes. Yes it is.)
(I obviously didn’t receive enough attention as a child. Isn’t that sad? Is it sad enough to make you want to read my blog? Yes. Yes it is.)
I’m also super awesome, and I deserve to be famous. And you’ll be awesome by association, just because you read my blog. You’ll be so awesome that doors will magically open for you!
(Note: Doors aren’t magic. Awesomeness is strictly metaphorical. You will have to find an automatic door and pretend that it was forced open by your awesomeness. Trying to open a non-automatic door with your newfound awesomeness may result in black eyes, nosebleeds, and your friends peeing on themselves because they’re laughing at you.)
(Note: Doors aren’t magic. Awesomeness is strictly metaphorical. You will have to find an automatic door and pretend that it was forced open by your awesomeness. Trying to open a non-automatic door with your newfound awesomeness may result in black eyes, nosebleeds, and your friends peeing on themselves because they’re laughing at you.)
“But why does your blog exist? Why do I need to read it?”
It exists so everyone will know what kind of sandwich I had for lunch! By reading my blog, you will be on the cutting edge of sandwich news. It’s vital that you know about my lunch.
(Actually, that’s not true. The blog exists for me to make fun of things and share my silly drawings. I tell people about my lunch on Facebook and Twitter. But you can totally “Like” my page on Facebook and follow me on Twitter.)
It exists so everyone will know what kind of sandwich I had for lunch! By reading my blog, you will be on the cutting edge of sandwich news. It’s vital that you know about my lunch.
(Actually, that’s not true. The blog exists for me to make fun of things and share my silly drawings. I tell people about my lunch on Facebook and Twitter. But you can totally “Like” my page on Facebook and follow me on Twitter.)
Just read the stupid blog. Read it and then join my verbal/paper spam army so more people will make me famous! Copy this note and spam your friends! Put it up at your dorm, job, or office! They will love you forever for it!
(Note: No one likes spam. You might actually lose friends if you do this. But that’s okay because I’ll fill your friendless life with bloggy goodness. And you’ll be too busy being awesome to be troubled by real friends.)
(Note: No one likes spam. You might actually lose friends if you do this. But that’s okay because I’ll fill your friendless life with bloggy goodness. And you’ll be too busy being awesome to be troubled by real friends.)
Make me famous by next Thursday…Please?
I'm that fucking awesome. That is EXACTLY what I wrote. And if you got here because of one of my paper spam campaign notes, then you passed the literacy test. And you can be my friend now.
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